report card...

Report cards came home today. Along with his, Sam brought home the little booklet the Kindergartners fill out to see how well they know their numbers, colors, etc.

The last page is supposed to be the answer to what they want to improve on...I'm assuming (the teacher probably is, too) that the answer would have something to do with school related things: numbers, colors, etc.

Oh no.

Not if you're Sam...

Sam wants to improve on his ninja skills.

Awesome.

Something tells me my parenting strategy needs to change.

There really are five other members of this family. Sam just seems to be the one obtaining the attention lately (for good and bad reasons)

I could go into pre-teen mood swings, a toddler that learned to tell me "No!" to everything, and two tired parents...but that wouldn't be very much fun, would it?

stinkers...

So...Zach & Matt were invited to go home with a friend today after school. They usually serve as chaperone's for these two monkeys on the walk home. In as much as they wouldn't be walking home today, we (the mothers of these two stinkers) put our trust in them to go it on their own. Not a big deal. They've actually done it before, and there are a TON of kids that walk the same route.

Well, today was different. After too much time had passed I got in the car & went to find them. Find them, I did. Chippendale style. Sitting in a strangers driveway...topless, shoeless, playing in a pile of sand.

STINKERS.

We had a long talk about strength in numbers, your feet DO NOT stop until you reach home, etc. I don't think my message got through. The way they look in the pictures is pretty much the way they were acting when I was trying to have a serious discussion with them.

STINKERS.

what's going on with us...

Little miss Lizzie Violet...

...is as sweet as ever. She has picked up a few choice phrases from her brothers that are not so cute, she is ecstatic that it is (almost) warm enough to play outside, and she changes into pajamas at least three times a day.

Sam earned a "late night" with his best buddy, Zach last Friday. He worked really hard at filling up a chart by being polite (somewhat), listening, and not teasing. Saturday morning...back to the old antics, adding cleptomaniac * to the mix. I have found/not been able to find remote controls, lip gloss, my cell phone, video chargers, etc. Somehow, Sam always has these things tucked away in his room...or is able to find them (in the garbage can). Nice.

He's also taking the coloring pages in Primary seriously.
This is "Mario" praying.

Matt & Zach (and their amazing Scout leader) have been working hard on their Arrow of Light.

...Ghourd bird houses...

Staying active at a wrestling clinic...(eventhough they are just standing around in the pic...)
...and ice skating.
They also have the 5th grade maturation program coming up next week. They have been begging us to miss it. Sorry boys.

John and I are trudging along. The kids asked us what we were doing/where we were going for FHE tonight. My response "We're going crazy." John's response "We're all going to bed early." If that tells you anything.

We are happy and healthy! What more could you want?

ever feel like this???

Dear Diary, for my birthday this year, my daughter (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

MONDAY: Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess -- with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!! Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring! Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!

TUESDAY: I drank 44oz of Diet Coke, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT! It's a whole new life for me.

WEDNESDAY: The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other crap too.

THURSDAY: Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late, it took me that long to tie my shoes. Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. She sent another skinny chick to find me Then, as punishment, she put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.

FRIDAY: I hate that Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little cheerleader. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it. Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the stupid barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

SATURDAY: Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.

SUNDAY: I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and give a prayer of thanks that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my daughter (the little brat) will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!

backpack fillers...

This backpack (the one on the right) has been home to many a treasure lately. Everyday when I go through Sam's backpack I am lucky enough to find a few extra things...

A GIANT rock.

This isn't the actual rock. The rock made it's way back outside (where all rocks belong). When I went to find it to take a picture (yea, I like taking pictures of rocks...) it was gone. I'll probably find it in his backpack tomorrow.

A stack of flyer's (no doubt collected from the many houses he passes on his way home) Now our neighbors will have no idea who to call for their lawn care needs this summer...I nominate Sam.

A stick.
Typical boy treasure.

And last but not least...

A Heineken box.

Awesome.

I either have a 5 year old with a drinking problem (that actually would explain a lot), or a party house in the hood I'm not aware of. I'm hoping it's the latter.